38 Weeks!

Yep.  Still here.  And I think I've had enough of this magical time, thanks.  You know, what with the backaches, carpal tunnel, joints that feel arthritic, indigestion, crazy Braxton-Hicks contractions, painful kicks to various internal organs, itchy skin, swollen hands and ankles, fatigue, mood swings, and strange energy spurts that later leave me exhausted.  The newest sensation this week: every once and a while I feel this weird buzz down a leg or in my elbow or down my arm.  It feels a bit like an electrical zap.  But it's just another way for the baby to entertain herself by bumping against the nerves in my pelvis.  She's so inventive, our little girl!
 
I am dancing on a fine line of unbelievable excitement that we'll soon have our newborn girl in our arms, and ultimate terror that we'll soon have to take her home and, you know, keep her alive and stuff.  For like 18 plus years.

So, the waiting continues - that's really all I can say.  It's all we really think about.  Every morning I get up and think, "maybe today's the day!"  For the most part, we're ready.  I mean, there's always going to be something that didn't get done, and I'm learning to embrace that.  In the meantime, I think I'll re-read Beckett's "Waiting for Godot."  Seems appropriate.

14 days and counting...

Woe is me...

Last night was a rough night.  The baby had me up at 3am with some swift jabs to the bladder.  I'm also struggling with a dose of some sort of stomach funkiness.  And then there's the flu shot residue - that "I don't feel great, but it's not a full blown cold, and I know it's just my body building antibodies and trying to fight something that isn't there, but please, will someone bring me chicken soup and tuck me in and let me sleep until it all goes away" feeling.  That about sums it up.  Tummy trouble + mock flu + lack of sleep = little miss cranky-pants.

If I didn't have so much to do - so much I need to finish up before the baby gets here - both for work and at home, I'd just crash out for the day today.  But at least I have the luxury of working in my pj's this morning with a cup of hot herbal tea and a snuggly puppy to keep me warm.

18 days and counting... 

(yes, I'm switching to just days now...because, well, it's seriously any day now.)

37 Weeks! aka FULL TERM

FULL TERM.

Done.

Baked.

Our baby girl is officially now a freeloader in my belly.  Thus begins the guessing game - when is she going to arrive?  This whole not knowing thing does not sit so well with my anal retentive planning genes. 

At my doctor's appointment earlier in the week, the midwife took her best guess at the baby's weight after our ultrasound and doing some measurements.  7 pounds - give or take a pound either way.  Not exactly precise.  But still...I can live with 7 pounds.  She also assured me that it was unlikely that the baby would be overly large nor overly small.  Like Goldilocks, she's going to be "just right."  But she is - at least according to the e-newsletters, blogs and books I read - officially the size of a watermelon.  Yep.  I knew the day would come, and here it is.  Watermelon.  Yikes.

During the ultrasound, I also caught a glimpse of the baby practicing her breathing skills, which was very good and I was happy to see that she has adopted the "practice makes perfect" mantra.  Keep it up, kiddo.

This week also marked the last week of my commute to work.  I'm not on leave yet - I'll continue working from home until I go into labor, or until my due date, whichever comes first.  But I cannot tell you how happy I am to know that my commute here on out involves a few steps and a staircase.  But don't let that staircase fool you - it can be a congested mess some mornings! 

So, now it's really just a waiting game.  Scott and I are trying to enjoy some low-key activities that will be more difficult with a newborn at home.  Like taking in a movie.  And I'm reading up on labor and freaking out at the slightest possible sign that maybe this is it?  Maybe?  Or maybe that's gas.  Yep.  Just gas.  False alarm.

2 weeks, six days and counting...

Dropped

Medical people call it "lightening."  Others say, "the baby has dropped."  I think the latter is more realistic to the sensation because what it feels like is  a bowling ball resting squarely on your bladder, between your pelvic bones.  And it makes you walk funny.  I mean, more funny than you were walking.  A whole new waddle.  Reminiscent of a penguin.  One thing is for sure, there's nothing "light" about it.

So, yeah, I'm pretty sure that within the past 24-36 hours the baby has dropped.  My doctor's visit on Monday showed via ultrasound that she's head down and ready to go.  This is the natural progression.  One bonus, I can kinda sorta breathe again without wheezing or panting. 

That's a win, I guess.

3 weeks and counting...

36 Weeks!

We're getting there!

At the end of this week, the baby will be full term. I think this is a big milestone. Big. Milestone. And I am VERY excited about it.  Scott has taken this - literally - as his last opportunity for a taste of freedom for a very long time and has ditched the fat, pregnant wife for a weekend in Vegas.  But he deserves it.  Really.  He does.  And I'm not the least bit jealous.  (Puhlease - insert eye roll here.)

So, it's just me, the dogs and our little girl this weekend.  I'm celebrating with a breastfeeding class.  Take that, Vegas! 

As for the little girl, she is still packing on the pounds, coming in around six pounds, although truly, the whole accuracy of these weight measurements is debatable.  But looking at my belly, I could easily believe that there's a six pound bambino in there.  They say that she's been gaining about an ounce a day for the past few weeks, and that will continue through this week.  I believe it.  Aside from her lungs, which could use a few more weeks to fully develop, she's pretty much fully baked.

This past week was all about trying to get some business done.  There's a lot of paperwork involved in taking maternity leave.  Short term disability.  Family Medical Leave Act.  Insurance adjustments.  Hospital registrations.  I spent a good part of my week tracking down answers in a web a bureaucracy.  In the end, I was victorious.  I think. 

Next week is also the last week that I'll be making the 2 hour plus round trip commute twice a week to my office.  For this, I am glad.  I mean, my whole work from home arrangement is pretty awesome, I get that.  But after spending eight years stuck in DC traffic - the likes you rarely see around here - spending less time in our cars was definitely on the "pro" list when we moved.  I'm jealous of Scott's 10 minute commute.  I'd much rather that than work from home, because I actually enjoy an office culture most of the time.  But, the bigger I get, the more I loathe that drive to Boulder, no matter which route I take.  Usually because about 15 minutes in, I have to pee already, by 30 minutes in, I'm starving for breakfast number two and by 45 minutes in, my feet have fallen asleep.  Occasionally, I like to mix things up with a good, strong, Braxton-Hicks contraction or two thrown in for good measure.  As soon as I arrive at the office I desperately need to make a bee line to the ladies room, do not pass go, do not chat with co-workers about weekend.  And then I need to devour (insert favorite carb here) with a decaf pumpkin spice latte stat or all will rue the day.  Rue, I say!  So, yes.  It will be nice to not have to do that anymore.  But I also realize that this is step one in cutting out some "adult time" over the next several months, and I will miss the office banter.  Particularly my office-mate.  She brings the funny.

I'm also starting to allow my mind to drift to "things I can do when I'm no longer pregnant."  Topping that list: have a beer.  They say it helps the milk come in.  Also high on that list: sleeping on my stomach.  Even if it's just for 20 minutes, which is all I should probably count on with a newborn in the house.  I would also like one of my first post-pregnancy meals to be the most delicious pumpernickel bagel with chive cream cheese and loads and loads of lox.  I'm looking forward to starting the day with something other than decaf, and oooh!  Sooo looking forward to the end of the day cocktail with my husband.  Very much so.  Happy days, my friends, are here again.

Probably the biggest news of all this week is that we hired our Nanny.  Well, very close.  We made an offer, she's accepted, and now it's just a matter of signing a contract that took us a good chunk of time to pull together.  The things you have to think about!  I mean, seriously, you have to spell a lot out in something like that.  Parenting philosophies.  Don't let strangers in our house.  Don't be a pot-head.  Hands off the liquor cabinet.  Don't even think about texting or talking on the phone while driving our precious cargo.  Lots to think about.  But we are very relieved to have figured out this major piece - childcare is a stressful and expensive proposition. 

So, I'm headed into this next week feeling a little bit more prepared and a little bit more focused on this major task at hand.  You know, bringing life into the world.  Having a baaayybeeee!  Squee!

4 weeks and counting...

35 Weeks!

Sigh. . .

Everything "they" say about the final weeks of pregnancy is true.  I'm kinda over it.  At this point the baby is just over five pounds.  She gets the hiccups a lot these days, which is such a strange feeling.  She also reacts more to sounds - we went to the movies over the weekend and a certain loud gun shoot 'em out scene had her all kinds of worked up.  Or maybe it was the popcorn.  In any case, she was pretty excited by the film and gave it two feet poking out of my belly.

As for me, I have a rather short fuse these days.  Let this be a blanket apology from me to the world.  It's just that I'm so damn uncomfortable.  Allow me to whine about it:

I have carpal tunnel, and am now sleeping with a brace at night, which has been a miracle because at least the brace keeps my arm from throbbing so that I CAN sleep.  Or could, if I didn't have to get up and pee every two hours or wasn't tossing and turning to try to find some sort of comfortable position.  So, I'm tiiirredd.  So tired.  It's like the return of the first trimester tired.  It's so hard to get up off the couch.  So. hard.  But I have to pee again, so...sigh...

My back hurts.  Because I am large and in charge as a friend recently said.  My pregnancy waddle is pretty much a constant, I have no balance, and don't even think about making me bend to pick something up.  Not gonna happen.  I haven't seen my feet in weeks, which is good, because they're probably super swollen considering I can only cram them into two pairs of shoes (not counting flip flops, which aren't so helpful in Colorado in October.)

And yes, I do realize that I am big.  Thanks.  Comments like, "Wow, you're enormous!" or "Can you still fit behind the steering wheel in your car?" (no lie, heard both recently) really aren't great boosters, thanks.  But you should hear the things I say about you when you leave the room.  Tee hee.

But probably the biggest challenge right now is preparing to leave my job for maternity leave.  So much paperwork.  So much bureaucracy.  A ton of running around from one department to another because it seems like no one has really done this before, and it must be really fun to make a pregnant woman run a gauntlet.  Meanwhile, back in the office there are a lot of little (and big) things to accomplish without really knowing exactly how much time I have to get it done.  So, for me, with my specific personality traits, I'm in a bit of overdrive trying to get it all done NOW.  Which is exhausting.  And frustrating.  Because not everyone shares my urgency.  I mean, hello, doesn't the world revolve around my due date?  No?  Harumph.

4 weeks, 4 days and counting...

Happy Anniversary.

Signing the Ketubah

On the ninth day of October, in the year two-thousand and five, in Washington, DC, the groom, Scott Robert Weygandt, and the bride, Irene Eleanor Gustovia Bonham, joined each other before family and friends to enter into a mutual covenant of marriage, and with love and compassion each vowed to the other:  "You are my true love and my teacher, you are my model and my accomplice, and you are my true counterpart.  I will love you, hold you, and honor you.  I will respect you, encourage you, and cherish you, in health and sickness, through sorrow and success, for all the days of my life."

Wedding Ceremony

Today, I celebrate five years of a loving marriage to my husband.  I always tell people that when I first met Scott, I knew - right away - that we'd be in a relationship.  What I didn't know was that he was the love of my life.  But I learned it pretty quick.  After two dates, I fell hard, and that - as they say - was all she wrote.  Our wedding day was truly one of the happiest days of my life.  The above is printed on our Ketubah - which is sort of art meets prenup and is signed by a couple prior to the wedding ceremony.  It's a Jewish tradition that we both find lovely, even though technically, neither of us is a practicing member of the tribe.  (Working in theatre, and having a Jewish grandmother, I have what I call "Jew envy." Such wonderful traditions.  And food.)  It now hangs in our living room and I read it from time to time.  These are our wedding vows and they continue to ring true.  There is no one on this earth who compliments me better than my husband.  He continues to be my true counterpart.

First Dance

In about a month from now, two will become three as we welcome our daughter to our little family.  As we prepare to meet her, I have to say that I am thankful that Scott and I have had the past five years (and some change) together.  Just us two.  That we've made a life together first.  That we really, truly know one another.  The buttons to push.  The buttons not to.  Our marriage is stronger because of it, and I believe it will help us to be better parents.  I am so excited about the next step in our journey together.  Parenthood.  It's wild.  I look forward to watching Scott grow into his new role as father.  I am so anxious for that moment when I see him hold his daughter for the first time, I swear, it has me welling up at this very moment.  Pretty amazing to think about, isn't it?  That something so incredible - a new life, a whole new person - was created because two people fell in love. 

So, needless to say, today's blog is dedicated to my loving husband.  Not many girls get to experience a taste of "happily ever after."  We live a charmed life together, you and I.  I am grateful for every day I get to spend with you.  I am grateful for a blissful five years of marriage.  Happy anniversary - and here's looking to at least fifty more.

Last dance together at our wedding.

34 Weeks!

This blog is brought to you live from our babymoon.  The hubs and I took a little trip to a secret, undisclosed location.  The trip is half delicious retreat, and half forced exile.  It is certainly our last weekend holed up in a hotel just the two of us, and I'm glad that we're able to have this time together - it's been wonderful.  There's a pool.  Can I just say how awesome a pool is right now?  To be lighter?  Oh, it's heaven. 

And I'm excited to come home, too, because - glory be - our remodel project is also coming to a close this weekend.  The big finish is the refinishing of all our hardwood floors  - which is why we had to get out of town.  Because those fumes would be bad news for me.  So, thank you, dear insurance company, for the nice weekend away in a kushy hotel.  We are enjoying our time immensely.

The break is just what I needed, too.  Coming down off of the high from all the excitement around the baby shower last weekend has been a bit of a crash landing for me.  I was pretty much exhausted this past week, so the time away with not much to do has been a great escape.

So, here's the update.  Our little girl is coming in at close to five pounds now and about 18 inches long.  Reaching the 34 week mark is a big milestone in terms of concerns for pre-term labor - most babies born at this time do not have any long-term difficulties.  That being said, she can just stay put for a few more weeks, thankyouverymuch.  Me?  Well, things are starting to feel a little reminiscent of the first trimester lately.  A crowded belly means a little heartburn and nausea.  Definitely a lot of fatigue.  Swelling, carpal tunnel, and my right arm is still falling asleep and getting all dull and tingly pretty much every night no matter what position I sleep in.  My poor husband is being a good sport about all the tossing and turning.  Fortunately, the worst of it usually happens around 4 or 5 in the morning, when we've had a little rest.  And I know it's only a small dose of what's to come.  But still.  Lack of sleep sucks a big one.

I also want to thank everyone for the feedback from last week's blog.  The top five lists have been coming in, and with them, whole hell of a lot of relief, I'm feeling like I'm in a really good place.  The girlscout in me is smiling at my preparedness.  So, thanks!  Of course, there's always something that comes up, but that I can roll with.

5 weeks 6 days and counting...