Brains

One perk to working on a university campus is the ability to take advantage of some of the great faculty/staff enrichment programs offered.  And they're free!  And you get to take a long lunch!  And learn stuff!  Win!

Today, I attended this great seminar on brain development of children.  It specifically focused on behavioral issues like those dreaded tantrums, and trying to reason with a kid throwing a fit, or why does my child hit me and say I'm a bad mommy, and just why is my six month old howling like a banshee for no reason at all.  The room was packed with early childhood ed teachers, parents, grandparents, and me.  The pregnant one.  But I was proud of myself for getting a head start, because, duh, my kid is still in utero, so we're not really having any arguments at the moment, which makes me feel like I have a real leg up on everyone else.  Because I'm competitive like that. 

But I had no idea that I would find the class so damn enlightening.  It was seriously like an hour and half of Oprah "Ah-ha" moments.  For example, the cognitive reasoning area of a child's brain doesn't begin developing until about age three and doesn't complete development until age six in some children.  So, putting a two year old in a "time out" as punishment does absolutely nothing for you.  Nothin'.  Zip.  The kid just doesn't have the brain power to understand.  That time out is more for the parent than the kid, really.  That's amazing to me.  Just that little nugget was worth it.


Essentially, there are four levels to our brain and its emotional response, and we start developing it from the bottom up and when we lose our cool - even as adults - we travel between all four levels of emotional response, usually from the top down.  From the highest level of cognitive reasoning, to primal brain-stem, "I'm going to physically crash out on the floor and howl because I have no other way to express myself" response.  And while adults can travel between brain levels quickly - within seconds - kids just can't navigate like we can.  Too many neurons firing and not enough roads built yet.  You can't get there from here.  It takes time to develop these areas of the brain, too.  Emotional response is pretty damn primal - at the brain-stem level - until about 9 months of age - when development of the next level begins.

All this probably sounds dreadfully boring, but seriously, I left feeling so enlightened.  And in some ways empowered.  I've often told friends that being pregnant feels a little like pledging a sorority.  You're not an official member of the parenting "club" yet, but they're going to share some secrets with you, and put you through some rituals, and eventually, there's this big rite of passage and you're a full on member.  This little seminar was like getting to hang out with a bunch of the older members and they decided to tell me a few nuggets of truth.  Which made me think - if just for a second - maybe I really can do this.

13 weeks, 3 days and counting...