29 Weeks!

This week's blog is a little late.  I'm sorry.  I know, I know, it's not like me.  Allow me to explain.

Last night, I returned from a wonderful weekend away with one of my oldest, dearest friends.  It was likely my last "girls weekend" getaway before I become a mother.  It was the first vacation day I've taken from work in more than six months.  In short, a much needed weekend to just check out for a while.

We were holed up in a resort in Colorado Springs where we enjoyed mountain views, comfy beds, room service, moonlit swims, an all you can eat brunch worthy of heaven, baby shopping, movies, lots of desserts and an afternoon at the spa.  And most importantly, great conversations and the company of one another.

I did not want to come home.

I've been a bit tightly wound lately.  I've always leaned toward the anal retentive - very deadline driven.  I loathe a blown deadline - it makes me feel like a complete failure.  When I say something will be done - whether it's completing a project, marking off a giant to-do list in sharpie, or just running an errand - believe me, I'll do everything I can to make sure it's done on time and well.  With a massive deadline looming.  (Literally, the mother of all deadlines.)  I've been feeling somewhat...overwhelmed.  There are a lot of competing priorities in my life right now, and maintaining balance has been tricky.  Mostly because there are so many things out of my control.  And that always drives me crazy.  I don't always wait very patiently for others.  At work, I'm waiting for materials from my colleagues.  At home, I'm waiting for contractors (our bathroom remodel is a subject for another blog soon to come!).  And of course, I spend multiple moments every day tasting the anticipation of our daughter's arrival, which sends my head spinning into the multiple lists of "things to do before the baby is here."

Then, someone will tell me to relax.  Or chill.  Which, in my mind's eye, brings forth a vision of me throwing something at their head.  Because, to be totally honest, it's the structure and routine and gratification I feel by marking something off my list in sharpie that releases the relaxing compound in my brain.  Telling me to chill or relax does the exact opposite - it sends me over the edge reeling.

Which is why this weekend was so great.  I knew it was coming, so the structure to relax and play was already built into my head.  That was the to-do list for the weekend.  My friend is already well-aware of all of my neurosis, so I could just be myself and not worry about anything else.  So, for three days, I just let go of it all.  And it was good.

This weekend was a great reminder of how important it is for me to just take some time out for me.  To fall off the radar for a while.  And how that will become even more important over the coming years.  We've already penciled the dates for next year's get away.  I'm counting off days.  In black sharpie.

In the meantime, 10 weeks, 5 days and counting...