Not What I Expected

Before Scott and I even started trying to get pregnant - when we were still in our early negotiations - I went out and bought the classic pregnancy guide, What to Expect While You're Expecting. You see, this is just how I roll. When venturing into something new, I go into research mode. I spend hours at the bookstore thumbing through whatever piques my interest on a particular subject separating "the good" from the "eh" often ending in a large purchase of reading material.

When I went on this first pregnancy book buying voyage, I didn't even bother to skim through What to Expect. I just picked it up and automatically placed it in the "to buy" pile. I went into the store knowing that I would buy it. I was excited. It was like a right of passage in womanhood or something. One very good friend did warn me that she didn't like the book. At all. And she strongly advised me against purchasing it. I ignored her.

I shouldn't have.

What to Expect really is a HORRIBLE book. It is a hypochondriac's worst nightmare. It should be retitled 1,001 Ways You Could KILL YOUR BABY or What Might Go Wrong During Your Pregnancy. I wasn't even pregnant yet when I started reading it and it sent me fleeing to Google for more information. And the internet, my friends, is a scary place.

I shelved the book quickly. I hid it on the top shelf of my closet. Under a handbag.

Now that I actually AM pregnant, I decided to pull it out again, thinking that maybe it wasn't so bad. I may have overreacted. Let's take another look.

Let's just say, the book just went up on my list of books available for swap on paperbackbookswap.com. It's still horrible. It sucks all the joy out of pregnancy - and sometimes (let's admit it, ladies) it's tough to find joy IN pregnancy, what with the morning sickness, and bloating, and hormones and everything.

My advice - if you're looking for a "medical read", go with the Mayo Clinic Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy. The information is really easy to understand and access. The index of weird symptoms is easy to navigate. There's no condescending tone. The chapters are short (yay!). It's a good book. If you're looking for a funny read, Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy will get you there. You have to take some of what she says with a grain of salt (the whole bandaging her boobs since she wasn't breastfeeding was a little odd to me - but I try not to judge), but she really commiserates with you and it will make you laugh.

I'm about to venture into "childbirth" books. If you have suggestions that aren't too hippy-ish, send 'em my way. I can take a little crunch - I even support it - but this baby WILL be born in a hospital. Not in some inflatable pool in our living room.

24 weeks, 5 days and counting...