30 Weeks!

When countdowns start at 10 (9. . . 8 . . .7 . . .) they always seem more impressive to me, somehow.  New Year's Eve.  The space shuttle.  Having a baby.

There's something about getting down to single digits that just heaps on the anticipation and excitement.

I'm now 30 weeks along in my pregnancy, About 10 weeks to go to my due date, and all is well.  Our baby girl is almost 17 inches long and weighs around 3 pounds (give or take a few ounces), which is about the weight of a head of cabbage. I must admit I felt some relief when I read that most full-term babies are between 20 and 22 inches long because that means we have at most five more inches to go.  And let me tell you, it really doesn't feel like there's a lot of room left in there.  She often feels like a pissed-off house cat with some of the kicks I've been experiencing lately.

I recently had the big conversation with my boss and co-workers about my maternity leave.  It went very well.  I worked up a nice, comprehensive proposal that laid out how much time off I was taking, if and how I'd like to be contacted while on leave and under what circumstances, who I suggest to cover some of my responsibilities while I'm out, and what I'd like as I transition back to work.  I'll be taking a full 12 weeks off in leave, and will then return to work full time following those 12 weeks - BUT - I'll be working exclusively from home.  After that, I'll commute into the office twice a week, and work from home the remainder of the week.  So, in essence, it gives me 6 months at home with our little girl.

But I'm not naive to think that I'll be able to handle work at home with the temptations and demands of a newborn and be able to really do either job well.  So, we've started our search for childcare options, and toured our first daycare on Friday.

It was a little traumatic for me.

The daycare was fine.  Standard, I'm sure.  But you're all aware of my...shall we say..."nit picky" tendencies.  And after leaving, I felt like I wanted a long, hot shower to get all the kid germs off of me.  Plus, it just felt like things were a bit chaotic - lacking order.  Which, I know must be a difficult thing to accomplish when dealing with a lot of little ones.  But as I watched the infant care provider hold and rock a six week old baby in a chair while rocking another one with her foot in a bouncy seat while two (maybe three?) others slept in cribs nearby, I thought, "no way."  Even when they explained that there was another caretaker for that room who happened to be at lunch.  Nuh uh.  Nope.  Not feelin' it.

Then we went to the toddler room.  It was right after they had lunch.  And the words from my husband's mouth pretty much said it all, "wow, check out the carnage in here!" 

I know that kids are messy.  I'm an aunt to 10 nieces and nephews and have countless friends with little ones.  I've seen it - I've experienced it - I've cleaned it up.  But this just felt different somehow.  Unnecessary.  And the adults were just too outnumbered.

As we left, I looked at Scott and said, "I want a Nanny."

So, we are definitely in the throes of our search for childcare.  We haven't completely ruled out a daycare center, but I think we have ruled out that particular one.  Maybe.  We're leaning toward a Nanny, but the timing is difficult to navigate, and we're not sure how easy or complicated it will be to find one willing to work part time.  We're more comfortable with a daycare center after she turns 1, and it just seems like it might be worth it to suck it up and go with a Nanny for the first 6-9 months.  But it's all really confusing, and there are pros and cons to all sides.  And can I just say, "GODDAMN! This stuff is expensive!"  Seriously.  I'm in the wrong business.

9 weeks, five days, and counting...